Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
