is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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