you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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