I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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