My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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