Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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