It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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