i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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