it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
