there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
