apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
