at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
