on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's the barista slut.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
