he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
