Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
