So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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