Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
