You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
