hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can text with my tongue
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
