this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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