I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
