Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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