Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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