Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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