it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
