part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
