playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
