Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
