After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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