my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
