Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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