i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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