Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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