so let's talk penis.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
