How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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