Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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