NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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