Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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