If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You can't motorboat a personality
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
