Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
