You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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