The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize