i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize