Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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