Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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