Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
