No awkward lesbian experiences without me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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