i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
