She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
