So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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