bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
