Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
