big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
