I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
