Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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