I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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