Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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