ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
