..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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