Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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