Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pooping to opera.
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