didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
